We Need To Talk About Evan
by Ficalicious
Summary: Olivia and Fin have a life and a son. But what if one night, 15 years ago is going to come back and haunt them? This is Olivia/Fin with mentions of Olivia/Elliot. Sorry for the pairing error. It has been corrected.


**We Need To Talk About Evan**

**Ok, it happened. Couldn't keep it in. I've been thinking about this one for a while. It's not exactly how I saw it in my head, and I saw more to it, but here it is. Hope you like it. I may or may not follow it up with another story but for now it is a one shot. **

**Olivia and Fin have a life and a son. But what if one night, 15 years ago is going to come back and haunt them?**

**Not mine. Borrowing them for the fun of it. Olivia and Fin with mentions of Olivia and Elliot. Please read and review!**

The sun was struggling to break free of the clouds as the chill winter wind swept through the Manhattan streets. Steam rose from a lone hotdog vendor desperate enough for the day's takings to brave the cold. Even the usual coffee vendor had closed early. The streets were quiet by Manhattan standards.

Which was why Detective Elliot Stabler noticed the group of teenage boys milling on the corner as he bought his usual hotdog. Normally he wouldn't have thought too much of the boys being there but something about their actions triggered the cop in him. The shuffling of feet, huddling in a tight group, passing something back and forth – they were all universal signs that screamed trouble.

Paying for his hotdog, Elliot slowly made his way towards the group, staying casual. He didn't want to spook them too soon. He was about 12 feet away when one of the smaller boys was thrown to the ground and the others began pounding him with their feet.

"Hey!" Elliot yelled, running towards them. "Police!" It was like a magic word. The second they heard it the boys fled, getting in one last kick as they did so. Elliot would have liked to have stopped them but he knew that his first priority was the victim. Reaching him, he put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"You alright?" He asked. The boy shook him off violently.

"I'm fine!" he growled, his face turned away.

"Hey," Elliot tried to turn him. The boy finally looked up, glowering. "Evan?" He pulled back in shock at the familiar brown eyes.

"Elliot?" The boy dragged the back of his hand over his nose, wiping the blood away. Elliot frowned at the lack of "uncle" preceding his name. For Evan's entire life he'd been called Uncle Elliot. Shaking his head Elliot focussed on the matter at hand.

"What happened?" He asked, tilting Evan' face to get a better look at the cut by his eye.

"Nothing." Evan shrugged, wincing at the pain in his ribs. The boys had worked a number on him and Elliot was concerned that they would have to go to the emergency room.

"Didn't look like "nothing"," Elliot frowned again. "What were you doing hanging out with those thugs? Does your mom know you're here? What about your father?"

"Whatever. They don't care. They're probably at work. You'd know better than me." Evan pulled himself to his feet and made a move to leave.

"I don't think so Evan. Let me take you home."

"I don't want to."

"Well I'm not leaving you here. Are you going to tell me why those guys were whaling on you?"

"I was proving I was black enough." Evan's voice was steely, resigned, as though this was a conversation he'd had before and one he definitely didn't enjoy having.

Elliot's eyes wandered over the boy he'd known for the last 15 years. Stocky, muscled, but not big for his age Evan didn't look like the type of kid who would try to get in with a gang. His brown hair fell over his eyes in a mop of curls. And his eyes; well there was no denying that they were his mother's eyes. But a glance at his tan skin left Elliot wondering what on Earth had Evan wanting to get in with a black gang in the first place.

"Excuse me?" He asked, trying not to sound as surprised as he felt.

"Never mind. You wouldn't get it." Evan glared at him and Elliot was surprised at the anger he saw there. He'd know this boy his whole life. He'd always been the favourite uncle. He'd changed Evan's diapers, he'd looked after him, he'd had him sleep over with Eli, he'd babysat, he'd helped with homework and girl trouble – he had a great relationship with this kid. At least, he'd thought he had. Until now. Whatever was going on with Evan was a bigger issue than just some kids kicking him in the dirt.

"Evan, buddy, you can talk to me. You know that." Elliot tried. Evan just rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna let me go now?"

"Not when I know those guys are probably just waiting around the corner for round two. I can take you home." Elliot gave the teen a supportive smile, still feeling shaken at his sudden loss of connection with the boy.

"I told you I don't want to go there."

"Well I can take you back to the precinct with me, but I bet that would go over even worse than if I took you home."

Evan sighed, weighing up his options.

"Are you going to tell my mom?"

"Listen buddy, I don't know what's going on with you but I know your mom would be worried about you. And if she sees you like this with no explanation she's going to not only kill you, but me too." He chuckled, imagining how that conversation was going to go. Evan cracked a small smile. Elliot felt pleased he'd gotten that much.

"Do I look that bad?"

Elliot saw the familiar mischief return to Evan's eyes and sighed in relief. He'd been worried there for a moment but it seemed that Evan's anger was passing.

"Actually might be an improvement," he smirked, grabbing Evan in a loose headlock and ruffling his hair. Evan pulled back quickly and shot Elliot an irritated, if laughing, glance.

"Not the hair, man. Takes me ages." He set about rearranging his locks _just so_. Elliot laughed.

"You need a haircut." He shook his head. How the boy could stand his hair in his eyes like that he'd never know. Evan gave him such a frown that Elliot couldn't help but laugh again. "Man you look like your father."

And that was when he saw it. A wave of anger flashed across Evan's face. It was almost too quick for him to see but he noticed it. It settled into his eyes like a burning rage and Evan looked away. Elliot stopped laughing and frowned as well. What was that all about?

"We going somewhere?" Evan asked his voice low. Elliot nodded.

"You want to come back to the precinct?" Evan merely shrugged. Elliot, knowing enough about teenagers after going through four and having one there now, knew to just let it lie. Evan would talk when he was ready. Reaching out to put his hand on Evan's shoulder, Elliot turned them and headed back in the direction of the precinct.

Once there Elliot led the way up the stairs to the precinct with a reluctant Evan in tow. The boy hadn't said much and his mood didn't seem to be improving the closer they got to the squad room.

"You doing ok?" Elliot asked, giving Evan a smile as he took in the boy's slightly green appearance.

"Yeah. Just thinking about what mom will say when she finds out about this."

"I'd be more worried about your dad going after those guys." Elliot said seriously. Again, that strange expression flitted across Evan's face and Elliot was left to wonder what on Earth that was all about.

"Would you do that?" Evan asked quietly. Elliot tilted his head towards him, puzzled.

"Do what?"

"Go stick up for your son if some guys beat him up?"

Elliot thought about his response. He was fiercely protective of all of his children. Hell, he'd almost gotten fired for helping Kathleen with her DUI. And there had been more than one time he'd stepped in to save Dickie's neck. And thinking about Eli, only a couple of years older than Evan – Elliot knew that if it had been his son being attacked by those boys he would have tracked every last one of them down and made sure they were punished.

"Yeah, I would." He answered honestly. Evan nodded, slowly, accepting his response.

By that stage they were standing outside the precinct double doors. Evan glanced at them.

"Come on, buddy. We don't bite." Elliot chuckled, leading the way into the bustle of the squad room. As they approached Elliot's desk, Elliot's long-time partner Olivia Benson glanced up from her work.

"Hey El, was it worth braving the cold?" Her voice trailed off as her eyes landed on Evan. She took in his bloody nose, his split lip and blackening eye. From the way he was standing she could tell that there was more wrong with him than the state of his face. Her expression settled into a familiar concerned frown. Elliot knew what was coming.

"What happened?" She asked, quickly getting up and moving towards them. She reached out and gently touched Evan's face.

"Nothing," he muttered, trying to pull away.

"Who did this to you, Evan?" Liv's voice left no room for argument. Elliot could see that she was trying to keep herself calm but was two steps from going ballistic.

"He's alright, Liv." Elliot put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Evan, who did this? I want you to tell me."

Evan sighed, rolling his eyes and glancing at Elliot.

"I told you I didn't want to come back with you," he grumbled.

"Evan…" Liv's voice was impatient.

"Just leave it alone, mom. I told you I don't want to talk about it." Evan turned and stormed into the crib, slamming the door behind him. Elliot shook his head, feeling Evan's frustration and wishing there was something he could do to help.

"Just give him some time to calm down, Liv."

She whirled on him.

"Would you like to explain to me why you brought my son in here beaten and bloody?" Her eyes were fierce, her voice tense. Elliot backed up a step, his hands going up in surrender.

"Whoa, Liv, calm down! I'm here to help, remember?"

When she didn't budge Elliot sighed knowing he would have to break Evan's trust and explain the situation.

"He was with a bunch of guys down on the corner the near the hotdog guy. I got there just as they started beating him. When I asked him he just told me that he was proving he was black enough."

"What?" Liv looked puzzled, and then worried.

"That's exactly what I said, Liv." Elliot paused, not really wanting to go there but knowing he had to. "It looked like a gang initiation."

"Stop, Elliot!" Liv put up her hand. "My son is not in a gang."

"I'm just telling you what I saw. Maybe you can talk to him about it. Or I can, if you want."

"No, I'll wait for his father to get here. He can talk some sense into Evan."

Again, Elliot paused, thinking if he should ask or not. Finally he decided he needed to know.

"Liv, is there something going on between Fin and Evan?" He regretted it immediately when the look of worry and concern washed over Liv's features. "Liv?"

She sat down heavily in her chair and sighed. Elliot followed suit, sitting in his own chair.

"Just these last two weeks have been so _hard_, El." She ran her hands over her face in frustration. "I don't even know my own son anymore. He just changed, all of a sudden."

"Drugs?" Elliot asked, praying to god that the answer was no.

"I'm pretty sure it's not. He's just so angry all the time."

"Teenagers get angry, Liv. It's pretty much what they do from the age of 14 to 18. Then they tend to mellow out."

"You never did," Liv joked, teasing Elliot for his renowned bad temper.

"You know what I mean." He smiled.

"You said Evan said he was proving he was black enough? What does that even mean?"

"Yeah. I was confused. It seemed like a sore point. I mean, I know he looks way more like you than Fin but I can't imagine Fin saying his son wasn't black enough." Elliot frowned. Fin loved his son and had learned from the mistakes he'd made with Ken. He had made a huge effort to be understanding and to be there when his son was growing up.

"I think I might have an idea who it was." Liv spoke after several moments. "Fin's mother. That would be just the kind of thing she would say."

"I though you and she were getting along better."

"Oh sure, better than we did. But even then it is barely civil. She has never accepted Fin being with me. She's always resented that." She rubbed her eyes again. Elliot felt a wave of sorrow as he watched his partner. He knew she was worried. She loved Evan more than anything and it killed her to see him sad or hurt.

"But why would she something like that to Evan?"

"To cause trouble of course. She's making a point because she's mad Fin married a white woman and had a baby with her. It kills her that Evan is the spitting image of me and looks nothing like her. But genetics is hardly my fault, is it?" Tears sprang to her eyes and Elliot's heart melted for his partner. Standing up, he quickly moved around their desks and pulled his partner into his arms. Liv's head rested gratefully on his strong chest as she allowed him to comfort her. They were shaken from the moment as the double doors swung open and Fin and Munch entered. Seeing Elliot holding Liv, Fin called out;

"Stabler what are you doing to my wife?" It was when Liv looked up and he saw the tears in her eyes that he quickly moved towards them and pulled her into his own arms.

"What's wrong, baby girl?" He asked softly against her ear. Liv pulled back enough to wipe her eyes, realising she was being overly emotional in front of the whole squad.

"I'm fine, Fin." She promised. Fin nodded, knowing it wasn't wholly true but that she wanted to gather herself. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Elliot looked away from the intimate moment.

"Evan's been beaten," Liv finally said, feeling stupid for being so emotional.

"By who?" Fin's voice was steely. He pulled back to catch Liv's eyes.

"I don't know. He came in with El. That's what we were just talking about."

Fin's eyes darted to Elliot and Elliot almost felt sorry for the boys that had jumped Evan.

"You see them?" Fin asked.

"Not well. They took off as I got there."

"Where's Evan?" Fin looked around; wanting to see for himself that his son was ok.

"He's in the crib." Liv paused, deciding how to put the next bit delicately. "We need to talk, Fin."

E&O&F

Evan looked up slowly as the door to the crib opened and closed quietly. He'd stretched himself out on one of the cots; trying to ease some of the pain in his ribs. He hoped that it was Elliot coming to say he'd take him home but when his eyes met with Fin's he knew he wasn't going to be that lucky. He quickly moved to pull himself into a sitting position. Fin sat on the edge of the cot, his eyes taking in Evan's injuries and nodding slowly.

"You know the guys?" Fin asked softly. He was working hard to keep his voice calm, despite the fact that he was ready to go a few rounds with the punching bag.

"No." Evan was lying and he knew that Fin knew it. There was no fooling a cop.

"Your mom told me what this was all about." Fin felt his agitation rising just at the thought of it.

"She doesn't know anything about it."

"Don't be disrespectful." Fin growled. Evan quickly swallowed his words, knowing how much Fin hated anyone speaking bad of his mother, especially him. "Elliot told us what he saw. Why you tryin' to get in with a gang?" Fin's voice rose slightly at the end. After everything he and Olivia dealt with every day why was their son trying to get in with the people they locked up?

"They're my friends!" Evan growled, sounding very much like Fin himself.

"Some friends. Gonna kick a brother down to the ground."

"Yeah, well, I gotta prove that I am a "brother" don't I?" Evan crossed his arms and looked away, hoping that Fin would just leave him alone. He wanted all of them to just leave him alone.

"This about "bein' black enough"?" Fin asked, still trying to reign in his temper. The whole thing seemed surreal to him. What kid proved they were black enough? Fin had never had to try and prove his "blackness" to people. He knew that there was a stigma that was going to be attached to Evan, having a white mother and a black father, but they'd never had any issues before this. Why now? Why all of a sudden.

He looked at his son, taking in his appearance. It was true – Evan was the spitting image of his mother. _Lucky for him, _Fin thought with a smile. The dark brown mop of hair had been a bone of contention between he and Evan recently. Fin thought Evan should have it cut but the boy was having none of it. It was his mother's hair; curly but not thick and coarse like Fin's. And it was true that Evan didn't look black. He had chiselled features, a sharp nose, dark brows and skin that was more tan than black. But despite all of that he was Fin's son and Fin loved him, no matter how hard those emotions were for him to express at times. He'd made sure he'd been there for everything with Evan. Sporting events, school awards, recitals, birthdays – everything. And it hurt him that in the last two weeks his boy had pulled away from him so completely that the only time they talked was to fight. He wanted his son back.

"I don't want to talk about this with you." Evan grumbled, still refusing to look at Fin.

"Well you don't got a choice, Ev. You and me are gonna talk this out."

"What for?"

"'Cause you're my son. And 'cause I don't know who you are anymore."

"I'm not." Evan's voice was soft. Fin frowned, not sure what he meant.

"Who put this in your head?" He pushed, trying to see if Liv had been right. If it was true he was going to give his mother what for. No one, not even her, had the right to upset his son so much.

"No one. I _can _have an original thought you know."

"I know someone had to say somethin' to get you this riled up."

"Would you just leave it?" Evan's voice was getting raised.

"I told you. You're my son. I aint leavin' it just 'cause you don't want to talk about it." Fin reached out to grab Evan's shoulder.

"I'm not your son!" Evan yelled. Fin pulled his hand back as though burned.

"What?" He had to ask because his brain couldn't process that his son would ever say something so hurtful.

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!" Evan bellowed, pushing Fin away and standing.

Outside in the precinct Olivia and Elliot looked up at the yelling. Olivia got to her feet as the door to the crib swung open and an enraged Evan stormed out.

"Ev, what's going on?"

"Leave me alone!" Evan yelled at her. Fin followed him out.

"Evan, calm down, son." He reached for his boy.

"Stop calling me that! I'm not your son!"

"Evan, what are you saying?" Olivia moved towards them, her voice gentle. Elliot stood too, hoping that he could help defuse the situation. Both Evan and Fin looked like they were about to seriously lose their cool.

"He," Evan jabbed an angry finger in Fin's direction. "Is NOT my father!"

"What are you talking about, Ev? Of course he's is." Elliot recognised what Olivia was doing. He'd seen her use the same voice and posture on many a victim. But Evan was having none of it.

"Think about it. Grandma is right. I'm not black enough to be his kid. Everyone who meets us thinks it." Evan's face was red with his anger and a vein pulsed in his neck. Olivia tried to rest her hand on his shoulder, having move closer. "Don't touch me!"

"Ev, calm down man." Fin put his hand out between Olivia and Evan in case the boy lashed out. He didn't want to think that his son would ever hit his mother but he knew enough that when someone was angry they could act irrationally.

"Stop talking to me like you are my father! You aren't!"

"If I'm not your father, Evan, then who is?" Fin growled, his temper getting the best of him. Evan gave him such a look before pointing and finger.

"Him!" His voice echoed around the suddenly silent precinct. Don Cragen had emerged from his office at all the noise. The others working in the squad room were standing and staring. Munch moved up to Fin and put a steadying hand on his shoulder, knowing that his partner was close to blowing his cool.

Because right at that moment every pair of eyes in the precinct was looking at the person Evan's finger pointed at.

Elliot swallowed loudly.

"Ev…" He started, not really knowing what to say. "I know you're upset man, but you aren't my son."

"It's way more plausible than _him _being my dad!" Evan glared at Fin. "All these years you lied to me. Made me believe I was something that I'm not. Do you know how messed up that is? Telling a white kid he's black?"

"Evan, you _are _my son. I don't know how I can put it any clearer. I was there when you were conceived, man." Fin threw his hands up in frustration. "How can I make you believe it?"

"Take a paternity test." Evan said calmly, as though he'd been thinking about this for some time. Olivia put her hands to her face and sighed. Fin took a step back.

"Can we talk about this at home?" Olivia asked, looking around at the people eavesdropping. She really didn't need their business to be all over the precinct.

"Alright people, back to your business." Cragen yelled. People moved back to their work, leaving the family of three and their partners standing in a small cluster. Evan was still keeping his distance. "You need to sort this out with your mom and dad in private, son." He told the boy he considered to be his grandson. "No one else needs to know this." He gave Evan a pointed look and the boy backed down slightly.

"Let's go home and talk about this." Olivia suggested. Fin was still standing back, his arms crossed and she could see that he was closing in on himself. He was mad and hurt and trying very hard not to show his anger. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and help him but knew that the last thing he needed right at that moment was for anyone in the precinct to see him showing weakness.

"I don't want to go with you. I want to get a paternity test done now. Dr Warner will do it. Then you will believe me."

"Evan, leave it alone. You are Fin's son. I don't know why you are so angry about this all of a sudden but we can talk about it _at home._" Liv gave him her no nonsense look. "Come on."

"I'm not going. Either we get the test done or I'm not going. And I don't want to go with you. I want to go back to Elliot's." He looked at Elliot, as did Olivia. He raised his hands.

"Don't look at me, I didn't suggest it." He tried to calm the situation but Liv glared at him. Fin wasn't even looking his way, which was probably a good thing. "Evan, I think you need to talk this out with your dad."

"I am. And we can talk more at your place."

"Evan, I told you man, I'm not your dad."

"Look at us." Evan gestured between them. "We look more alike than me and Fin. And even Eli has said that me and him could be brothers we have so much in common. I have your temper." Evan added.

It was true. Elliot could see the similarities. He'd always seen them but had summed it up to him spending so much time with Evan and the boy picking up his mannerisms.

"Evan, you need to drop this." Olivia said again. Her voice was shaking. "Come with me. We are going home."

"I told you I'm not going anywhere with you." Evan repeated his voice hard. Olivia whirled on him.

"You will go and get in the car, _now!_" she said in a deathly calm voice. Evan blinked before nodding slowly. He'd never heard his mom speak that way before. Elliot was staring at her in surprise. He'd never seen Liv lose it before and hearing her so calm and yet so angry worried him.

"You alright Liv?" He asked softly as Evan headed out the doors.

"I'm fine. I need to go and fix my family." And without a second glance at him she turned and left. Fin lifted his eyes slowly to look at Elliot and Elliot wasn't sure he liked what Fin was thinking. He could tell that Fin was mad. Really mad. And that he was going to be asking Liv some tough questions.

"Fin…" he started, wanting to clear the air right away.

"Not now." Fin cut him off and left. Munch walked up beside Elliot.

"I did not see that coming when I came to work this morning." He muttered before heading to the coffee pot.

E&O&F

It was getting close to midnight when Fin finally sat down on the sofa next to his wife. She looked exhausted and he longed to put his arm around her, to hold her to him and forget this night had ever happened. But he was angry, and frustrated, and he had questions that he needed answered.

"When?" He asked his voice soft but cutting through the silence like a knife. Olivia looked up at him, her eyes weary and tear stained. When they had finally managed to get Evan back to their home in Queens it had been one fight after another. Yelling and screaming and slamming doors. Olivia didn't feel like they were any closer to sorting out the issues that were clearly there and a tiny guilty voice in the back of her head wasn't making things any better.

"When what?" She asked in a tired voice. She didn't have the energy for this.

"When did you and Stabler sleep together?" Fin's voice was even and Olivia knew he was working hard to keep it that way. She sighed, knowing that they were going to have to have this conversation and knowing that it might be the unravelling of every good thing she had in her life and that she had worked so hard to get.

"Just before you and I got together." She admitted softly.

"How long?" Fin was going to see this through, even if both of them didn't really want to face to truth of it.

"About a week. It was only one time, Fin, and it was before you or I even thought about getting together."

Fin was nodding, but Liv didn't think that that was him forgiving her actions.

"So he could be Evan's father."

"Fin…" Olivia didn't want to be doing this. In her mind Fin _was _Evan's father. Always had been. Even if he wasn't his biological father, he was the one who had been there throughout her pregnancy, who had held her hand through the birth, who had raised their child with her. Fin was Evan's father no matter what.

But that didn't deny that deep down Olivia had always suspected, always thought that Evan looked a little too much like Elliot for it to be the coincidence of a child mimicking his uncle's expressions. Just his stocky build, the shape of his nose, the vein in his neck that stood out when he was mad – the similarities stacked up. Her heart ached. This was not what she had planned when she had settled down with Fin.

"Did you use protection?" He asked, not relenting in the slightest. He needed to know this, no matter how much it hurt him. He'd always known there was something between the partners that went beyond partnership, beyond friendship. But he'd turned a blind eye because Liv had been his, had always been faithful. She'd never given him reason to believe that she would ever cheat on him with Stabler.

"Fin, please."

"Did you?" Fin pushed. Tears trailed down Olivia's cheeks and he hated himself for causing them.

"No. Please Fin, listen. It was before _us. _It was a drunken night after a case. And you and I started seeing each other the next week. When I found out I was pregnant I didn't even consider that the baby might have been Elliot's. I _always _thought of Evan as yours. You have to believe that." She had turned on the couch to face him, her eyes imploring him to say something.

"I'll take the paternity test, for Evan." He said, defeated. Olivia reached for his hand.

"Fin. You _are _Evan's father. I don't care what a paternity test says." She said sincerely.

"I'm always gonna want to be Evan's father, Liv. But I don't want him hatin' me for not at least provin' it to him."

"And if it says Elliot is his father?" This was Olivia's biggest fear – that Fin would find out Evan wasn't his and he would leave them. She didn't want to lose him. She didn't want to lose her family. She loved him too much.

"If I was in Stabler's position I'd want to know if I'd been seein' a kid nearly every day not knowin' he was mine." Fin admitted, knowing that this must be killing Elliot too. Despite being angry that Elliot and Olivia had slept together and Olivia had never told him, he couldn't be mad at her for it. It had been before they'd been together and she had been faithful to him in the 15 years they'd been together. Besides, he loved her too much to be mad at her.

"I'm so sorry Fin." Olivia sobbed, tears overwhelming her. Fin finally gave in to his urge and pulled his wife to him. Kissing the top of her head he wiped away her tears.

"Oh baby girl, we'll get through."

"You aren't leaving?" Olivia asked her eyes wide.

"No. I told you I was all in from the get go. You think somethin' like this would make me leave you? Liv, I love you and have loved you every second of the 15 years we've been married. Ain't nothin' makin' me leave. We'll sort this out. I just hope that Ev will forgive me."

"He loves you, Fin. He's angry and confused. You will always be his father, no matter what the test says."

"Let's hope so, baby girl."

E&O&F

_They were both relieved to have finished the case. It had been another tough rape case with a reluctant victim, a sadistic rapist and a whole lot of paperwork. Both Elliot and Olivia had been eager to go to the bar and share a few drinks to forget the whole mess._

_Elliot bought the first round, including two shots of tequila, and put them on the table with a smile._

"_Think you can hold your liquor Benson?" He teased, passing her a shot._

"_Oh god, El? Really? Tequila will kill me!" She laughed, taking the shot none the less. _

"_On three." Elliot said, holding his shot to his lips. He watched her over the rim of his shot glass. Her brown eyes locked on his, her tongue gently wetting her lips. Elliot's tongue mimicked hers before he swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry._

"_You gonna count?" Liv challenged, smirking at him. She knew that look on his face. He looked like a predator about to go after prey. She'd seen it many times when he looked at a perp, or more recently since he'd divorced from Kathy, when he was eyeing a beautiful woman. But she'd very rarely seen it directed at her. It made her feel powerful, wanted. And she wanted him. Had wanted him for a long time._

"_One." Elliot smiled, dragging it out. "Two." His hand raised ready to lick the salt. "Three." Licking the salt and slamming their tequila, both detectives let out a mutual "whooo" before biting the lime._

_After that it was all downhill. Beer after beer and loud chatter. Elliot's eyes never strayed from his partner, even as his body worked its way around the booth to sitting beside her. He couldn't help himself from touching her. He needed to feel her skin beneath his fingers to prove that she was real. Olivia didn't seem to mind. Instead, she encouraged his actions with little touches of her own. By the time that his lips finally touched hers, Elliot's mind was a blur. He was acting on instinct. Agreeing to a taxi back to her place. Feeling her press her body against his in the cab, his hands heavy on her thighs._

_Getting upstairs to her apartment was a blur. He remembers kissing her on the stairs, and against the wall, and against the door until finally she got it open and they fell inside laughing. And then they were in her room, naked in her bed and he was moving above her and inside her and it was pure bliss. _

_The next morning they had woken and moved to their separate sides of the bed. Elliot wanted to tell her it was more than one night, that she meant the world to him, but couldn't. Olivia was shutting herself off to him and he was scared that if he pushed it he would lose her completely. _

_A week later she had been seeing Fin and not long after that they were getting married and having a baby. Elliot had missed his chance._

A knock at his door startled Elliot from his thoughts. He'd been kicked back in his recliner remember the one and only time he'd ever made love to his partner. They were memories he cherished but had pushed deep down. Evan's outburst at the station had brought all of them to the forefront and he was thinking that it might possibly have been the night that Evan had been conceived. Geez, one night of drunken sex and he'd quite possibly managed to knock up his partner. _Well Kathy always did say that I had super sperm_, Elliot thought with a smile as he got up to answer the door.

It was as he was crossing the hall that his eyes fell on the clock. After midnight. Who on earth would be calling at this hour? Grabbing his gun he looked through the peep hole. Seeing who it was he quickly put his gun down and unlocked the door.

"Evan what are you doing here at this time of night?" He quickly pulled the boy inside and shut the door to his apartment. "Are you ok?"

Evan looked up at the taller man and nodded. Elliot could see how tired he looked.

"I'm fine." Evan said, looking around Elliot's apartment. He had been there many times before but he wasn't ready to make eye contact. He felt slightly stupid for being there and didn't know what to say.

"How did you get here, Ev? Does your mom know you are here?" Elliot looked the boy over for any fresh wounds. His eye was already swelling shut from the beating he'd taken that afternoon.

"I caught the train. Don't tell mom. I don't want her to yell at me any more tonight."

"Evan, how did you get out of the house without her noticing?" Elliot was impressed, despite himself. Pulling one over Liv was no mean feat.

"Out the window. Caught the train. Don't you think it's funny that when you and mom conceived me you lived in Queens and she lived in the city, but then her and Fin get married and move to Queens and you move to the city?" Evan was babbling, nervous. He wanted so badly for Elliot to explain everything to him. To admit that he was his father.

"Actually, I was living in the city by then." Elliot admitted before thinking. Evan's eyes found his, surprised.

"So you admit that you are my dad?" He asked, almost hopefully.

"Ev, I'm admitting that your mother and I had sex. I don't know if I'm your father." He was trying to be honest, figuring after everything, Evan would appreciate that the most.

"But how do you not know? I mean, wouldn't you notice if you got her pregnant?" Evan pursued.

"Of course I would. But it's complicated. Your mother and I – it was just one night. And then she and your dad started seeing each other. It was kind of close together, so really, you could be Fin's son, or you could be mine." He saw Evan getting angry. "I know it's not what you want to hear, and I know you want to know who your father is. I'm not denying that. And if you want, I will take a paternity test to help you rule me out one way or another."

"I want you to be my dad." Evan admitted softly. Elliot gestured to the couch and sat down. Evan followed suit. Elliot couldn't help but smile as he saw the boy mimic his pose.

"Why, Ev? Fin loves you. He's been a great dad to you, you can't deny that."

"Yeah but do you know what it's like constantly being asked why you aren't black when you have a black dad? My friends think I'm making it up. They say that I don't get what it's like to be black. It's like having my entire cred taken away."

"Is that why those guys were beating you up?"

"Yeah. Well, it was my fault too. I told them that I wanted in with them. They said that it was brothers only and I had to prove my way in. I guess I didn't think it through too hard."

"Ev, you should know better than having to prove yourself to other people."

"You ever been to high school?" Evan asked with a raised eyebrow. He looked so much like Eli when he did that that Elliot had to pause.

"Once upon a time." Elliot chuckled. "And I guess I got myself into some trouble while I was there." He admitted.

"Right. So you get it then. I had to prove myself. And I was trying to stand up for Fin, too. Because it was like they were saying he was _faulty _or something, for having a white son. Grandma said the same thing. Said I wasn't black enough to be one of theirs. That that's what you get when you marry a white woman who isn't good enough for her son."

"She said that to you?"

"She was pretty worked up." Evan said.

"Yeah, well, I don't think she should have put that on you."

"Fin was mad when he found out. Called her up and told her off. I wouldn't want to be him next time she comes round." Evan chuckled, still fully terrified of his grandma and glad that it was Fin and not him that would be receiving her wrath.

"I need to call your mom and let her know you are here." Elliot said, standing up. "She's going to be worried sick."

"She won't even know I'm gone."

Just then Elliot's phone rang.

"You wanna bet?" He chuckled, checking the caller ID. _Liv. _"Hey Liv," he answered. "Yeah, he's here. I was just about to call you. No. He caught the train. Do you want me to drive him back? Ok. Yeah, that's fine. No, I'm happy for him to stay. I'll drive him home in the morning. Yeah, we talked. Yeah? No, but he had a lot of questions. Yes. I told him. Because he has a right to know. Yeah I'm doing it. I want to know too… he could be. We both know how that night went, Liv. I know. And I'm not going to take that away. But he wants to know. Yeah, ok. It's late. We'll talk tomorrow. Ok. Bye."

Elliot let out a sigh and caught Evan's gaze. He gave the boy a smile.

"Told you she'd know you were missing." He said.

"She's mad at you now, isn't she."

"Your mom is just upset. I don't think she was expecting this and you've thrown her for a spin. It will work out."

"So I can stay here tonight?" Evan's eyes lit up a bit at the prospect.

"Well, I can see you brought a bag of stuff," Elliot gestured to Evan's back pack. "And it's too late to drive you home, so yeah, you can stay."

Later, once Evan was safely in bed and asleep Elliot lay in his own bed, thinking. He might have another son. Another son who he had watched grow up from afar. A son who had never called him dad. A son who never knew he had brothers and sisters, even if he grew up seeing them upon occasion. Elliot felt guilt wrack him at the thought, even though there was nothing that he could have done to change it. What was done was done and all he could do now was work towards being a father to Evan, if that was what he was meant to be.

E&O&F

Elliot sat on the hard plastic chair next to Fin. Evan sat across from them, looking from one man to the next. The three of them were silent, although it was clear that all three were lost in thought. Elliot's arm ached where the blood had been drawn. His head hurt from thinking too hard and the glare of the fluorescent lights made his eyes hurt.

It had been a tense couple of days leading up to this moment. Many discussions with Fin and Olivia and Evan. Elliot had found himself an unwilling third party getting dragged into a train wreck. Despite wanting to know if Evan was indeed his son, he didn't want to break up Olivia's family. Evan had asked him, that night when he'd run away from home, if he and Olivia would ever get back together. The thought had stuck in Elliot's mind since. He loved Olivia, always had loved her. And he would love nothing more than to be with her and spend the rest of his life with her. But he knew that she loved Fin and that they were happy. He didn't want to take that away from her. He only wished that he wasn't possibly about to take away Fin's son.

Fin was silent. He'd become even more taciturn than usual over the past week. He'd hardly spoken to Elliot and Elliot only hoped that their friendship would pull through this intact. Fin was working through his feelings towards the other man. His heart was hurting at the thought of losing his son. He was afraid of losing Olivia and knew that his actions were only pushing her further away. He was trying to work out how he was going to react to whatever news the doctor was going to tell them.

Evan looked from man to man, searching their features for ones that he saw in the mirror every day. It was hard because he saw parts of himself in both men. He didn't know how he wanted this to pan out. He hadn't thought that far ahead when all this had started. Did he want Elliot to be his father? That would mean that he had five other brothers and sisters. It would explain where his anger issues had come from. But what if Fin was his father? He had raised Evan. They had shared a life together and despite everything, Evan loved him. But how could he live a life being white when he had a black father? How would he ever cross that cultural divide? He would spend his entire life being a "milky". He didn't know if that was something he could cope with.

With the three of them so heavily in thought the doctor had to cough several times to get their attention.

"Evan Tutuola?" He asked. The three of them stood, facing the doctor. The tension in the air rose about ten degrees.

"That's me." Evan said.

"I have your results." The three men exchanged looks. This was about to change everything.


End file.
